Love is the most misunderstood and most longed for experience of all humanity. By nature, early in life we understand the basics. We seek to understand ourselves through our relationships with others. We don't censor our emotions, our needs, our thoughts, our light. When we experienced harmony with those around us, we captured the bliss that is love, and were able to look into the beauty of others and ourselves. We felt strong and able - able to define the world from our truest and unique perspectives, able to access and embrace our gifts. We were beginning the course of developing our ability to love. We were singing our own names, and those who were able to hear us would sing right along and attach their own longing to our innocence.
Social conditioning took us off track, and the affects of violence, greed, and individuality actually took us far from ourselves. We spend the rest of our lives with an archetypal longing to experience love. Some of us never acknowledge that longing, and spend the days of our lives in the overwhelming shadow of our conditioning. Others of us try to find a way back, but find it frustrating when we see an inkling of that shadow dipped in our attempts to love. After so much time away from ourselves, how will we remember how the song goes? And how will we invite others to sing along?
When God had made The Man, he made him out of stuff that sung all the time and glittered all over. Then after that some angels got jealous and chopped him into millions of pieces, but still he glittered and hummed. So they beat him down to nothing but sparks but each little spark had a shine and a song. So they covered each one over with mud. And the lonesomeness in the sparks make them hunt for one another, but the mud is deaf and dumb. Like all the other tumbling mud-balls, Janie had tried to show her shine.
Zore Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God
Over a lengthy time of self-neglect, the mud can turn into stone, and it becomes increasingly difficult to see the light that we all were made of. We no longer are able to access ourselves the way we knew how. Some of us spend most of our efforts examining the parameters of our stones, trying to find a way out. Others of us accept our loss and become our stones.
Every decision we make in life is an attempt to cope with this tragedy. We engage in a lifelong cycle of grief for the inaccessibility of ourselves. This is why it is not difficult to find others who swing easily into anger, depression, or denial.
This blog is an attempt at examining this dilemma, and an attempt to answer the question: How will we be able to find and show our shine?